I took a little break. I had to. I managed to continue to blog while changing cities every other day. And I managed to continue to blog while doing all that work-related travel and getting ready for the holidays. But on Friday, I arrived home to a missing husband and boy. They're fine - but due to a dead cell phone, I was very late finding out that they had rushed to Katy to be with Brit's Grandmother, who was hospitalized after a stroke and heart attack. So, I've been in Katy since Friday night and have chosen to stay off the Internet while there. Instead I made chili and soup and bread and chicken salad and anything else I could think of. And Grandmother? She's good. She's charming the scrubs off the nurses in her ward, and is very likely being released tomorrow. Both the stroke and heart attack were very, very mild. Our beloved Gigi is very nearly 90.
During the weekend I was reminded several times of the value of this exercise. Just over half way in, and the lesson is beginning to take. Be grateful. Find the silver lining. Notice the beauty around you. Be still and identify the grace in this. moment. here. There were so many times this weekend when I thought, "I am grateful for this, now, and here." Here are a few of those moments.
Friday: Our drive to Katy was very different than planned. Rather than leaving all together Saturday morning, the girl and I were leaving on Friday night after a very, very long week for me, to meet Brit and the boy, already there. But the drive was a delight. My daughter is good company, and it's been a long time since the two of us were alone together for an extended time with nothing but each other to keep us entertained. I am extremely grateful for more than 2 hours alone with my daughter, sharing each other's undivided attention.
Saturday: Brit is crazy. I love him to pieces, I do, but his nearly catastrophic health issues from a few years back left him with a touch of the PTSD. He does not handle stress well. He does not handle changes of plan well. Or I should say, he didn't. This weekend we learned for certain that talk therapy, thoughtfully prescribed medication from a good psychiatrist, and time and a loving supportive family can really heal a person's mind. Brit got the call from his folks, packed up everything he and the boy would need, and hit the road and not once did he enter full blown fugue state. No nearly catatonic anxiety attacks. No exploding anger in all directions. Instead, I arrived in Katy to a calm, rational, loving husband who rather than needing care was doing an AMAZING job taking care - of his son, his hospitalized Grandmother, and his mom. I spent much of Saturday awash with gratitude that his mental health is so greatly improved. I cannot begin to express the impact this has on our quality of life as a family. This one? This one was so easy to be grateful for, and to a magnitude of a gazillion.
Sunday: My in-laws are loving, generous, gracious people who supported us emotionally and materially during the years of the aforementioned health issues. They love, love, love my children in a way a parent can only hope and pray for. As Brit and I get older I am blessed to watch my relationship with my in-laws develop and mature. On Sunday, as I joked about my failing eyesight (I'm getting old!) and commiserated and shared the marvel of child rearing experiences with my in-laws I felt a growing awareness of the increasing depth of this relationship I have with them. It's difficult to articulate. As the child of my parents, I will always be the child. I was still developing as an adult when I first met my in-laws, but am not constrained in any way by a past relationship as a child with them. I've known them now for 15 years, and there is only very recently a blossoming new complexity to our relationship that seems to stem from our shared experiences, as, well, grown-ups. I'm not their kid. I'm the woman raising their grand-kids and caring for and loving their son. These are things we share - our love of these people, and of each other, and our experiences as adults. They accept me as a member of their family 100% and treat me as their daughter, but also as a friend. I have this sense of them observing the family their son and I have created and supporting that family in every way imaginable. I am so grateful for this relationship, and the marvel I feel at the way it continues to develop and enrich my life. I am so lucky to have married the son of Buddy and Susan. I'm so lucky to have Buddy and Susan in my life.
And today? Today I'm grateful that my children have such a great relationship with their great-grandmother, and I'm filled with gratitude that it is not over yet. Grandmother loves us all so much, and the feeling is mutual. Strong, stubborn, generous, loving, opinionated. This woman sees the world exactly the way SHE wants it to be, and her mind cannot be changed. Thankfully, in her version of the world her family is perfect. Her great-grandchildren are the most brilliant and attractive children on the planet. Her heart is strong and her mind is sharp. Tonight, I'm thankful that she's right, and all of these things appear, to me as well, to be true.
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